The chronicles of an online poker player

Instant Tragedy

August 4, 2009 at 10:31 pm

Getting slapped in the face..

Instructions on how to get hit in the face with a deck.

Now some of you believe that you have to sit at high levels to have the deck or RNG to slap you silly. I say nay.

Now I just returned to the felt and decided that I needed to have some fun.

A simple, Fergusonesque stay in the bankroll, just want to play poker, game.  My goal is to show you how to get hit in the face so many times that you feel like you are a winner no matter how bad you play the game. Now, for time sake I will remove all hands that I wasn’t involved with. But I will show you what I was dealt.

Enjoy

Full Tilt Poker Game #13820666201: $1 + 0.25 Sit & Go (101965958), Table 1 – 15/30 – No Limit Hold’em – 19:32:21 ET – 2009/08/04
Dealt to InstantTragedy [Qd 4d]
Dealt to InstantTragedy [4c 6s]
Dealt to InstantTragedy [9d 3c]
Dealt to InstantTragedy [Kd 3s]
Dealt to InstantTragedy [4c 5h]
Dealt to InstantTragedy [3c 4d]
Dealt to InstantTragedy [Qh 6d]
Dealt to InstantTragedy [Ah Qd]
InstantTragedy wins the pot (75)

Yawn, I’m already getting bored.

Dealt to InstantTragedy [4s 2h]
Dealt to InstantTragedy [9c 7c]

At this point jenggot calls 1,430, and is all in and loses.
JeroenRast shows [Kc Ac]
jenggot shows [Qd Ad]
*** FLOP *** [8c Th 3d]
*** TURN *** [8c Th 3d] [2d]
*** RIVER *** [8c Th 3d 2d] [Ks]

Dealt to InstantTragedy [Kh 8d]
Dealt to InstantTragedy [6h 5d] and now a Big Blind Special
InstantTragedy checks
*** FLOP *** [7d Ac 6d]
slasher44 checks
InstantTragedy checks
*** TURN *** [7d Ac 6d] [Jh]
slasher44 bets 40
InstantTragedy calls 40
*** RIVER *** [7d Ac 6d Jh] [Ts]
slasher44 checks
InstantTragedy checks
*** SHOW DOWN ***
slasher44 shows [Kd 8h] Ace King high
InstantTragedy shows [6h 5d] a pair of Sixes
InstantTragedy wins the pot (160) with a pair of Sixes

Dealt to InstantTragedy [Xd Ks] Not going to tell you what the other card is… But it was PRETTY!

InstantTragedy calls 20
henchmen70 checks
*** FLOP *** [4d Kc 5s]
InstantTragedy bets 80
henchmen70 folds
InstantTragedy wins the pot (80)

Dealt to InstantTragedy [Jd Qh]
Dealt to InstantTragedy [9d Kh]

Now here is where I made a mistake, I admit it but I had to do something.
Dealt to InstantTragedy [7h 7c]
Markuzzle has 15 seconds left to act
Markuzzle calls 40
maeDo7belo folds
slasher44 calls 40
InstantTragedy raises to 80
henchmen70 folds
LittleBlind101 folds
gruenky folds
JeroenRast raises to 200
Markuzzle has 15 seconds left to act
Markuzzle folds
slasher44 folds
InstantTragedy calls 120
*** FLOP *** [Kc Jc 4s]
JeroenRast checks
InstantTragedy checks
*** TURN *** [Kc Jc 4s] [8c]
JeroenRast bets 160
InstantTragedy calls 160

I’m feeling a cheap steal here and I wanted to see if I could 4 fu&k him.
*** RIVER *** [Kc Jc 4s 8c] [Qh]
JeroenRast checks
InstantTragedy bets 145

I should have bet a little more but it was a pussy bet and pussy bets get called…
JeroenRast calls 145
*** SHOW DOWN ***
InstantTragedy shows [7h 7c] a pair of Sevens
JeroenRast shows [Ac As] a pair of Aces
JeroenRast wins the pot (1,110) with a pair of Aces
The blinds are now 25/50
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot 1,110 | Rake 0
Board: [Kc Jc 4s 8c Qh]
Seat 1: Markuzzle folded before the Flop
Seat 2: maeDo7belo didn’t bet (folded)
Seat 3: slasher44 folded before the Flop
Seat 5: InstantTragedy showed [7h 7c] and lost with a pair of Sevens
Seat 6: henchmen70 didn’t bet (folded)
Seat 7: LittleBlind101 (button) didn’t bet (folded)
Seat 8: gruenky (small blind) folded before the Flop
Seat 9: JeroenRast (big blind) showed [Ac As] and won (1,110) with a pair of Aces

Nice Big Blind Special.

Time for a little short stack ninjaitis ™ CKBWOP Inc, All rights preserved.

Seat 5: InstantTragedy (1,000)
Dealt to InstantTragedy [5d 2d]
Dealt to InstantTragedy [8d 8h]
InstantTragedy wins the pot (125)
Dealt to InstantTragedy [3c 8s]
Dealt to InstantTragedy [Kh 4d]
*** FLOP *** [2s Qc Ks]
InstantTragedy wins the pot (100)

Dealt to InstantTragedy [Ac Ks]
InstantTragedy wins the pot (150)

Dealt to InstantTragedy [9d Qc]
Dealt to InstantTragedy [3d 7s]

At this point I was still ninjaing but I wanted to get paid when I had hands… thus, if you raise me I will reraise you so damn quick.

Dealt to InstantTragedy [Qh Qc]
maeDo7belo calls 50 (limper)
slasher44 raises to 150 (Standard 3X  raise)
InstantTragedy raises to 575 (F*ck you, pay me)
InstantTragedy wins the pot (425)

Seat 5: InstantTragedy (1,500)

and I’m back to where I’ve started. Ok, Ninja elimination mode ACTIVATED!

Dealt to InstantTragedy [Qs 3d]
Dealt to InstantTragedy [Qs As]
slasher44 raises to 180
InstantTragedy calls 180
*** FLOP *** [4h 9s Qd]
slasher44 bets 220
InstantTragedy raises to 820
slasher44 calls 600, and is all in
InstantTragedy shows [Qs As]
slasher44 shows [Ts Tc]
*** TURN *** [4h 9s Qd] [2s]
*** RIVER *** [4h 9s Qd 2s] [2h]
InstantTragedy shows two pair, Queens and Twos
slasher44 shows two pair, Tens and Twos
InstantTragedy wins the pot (2,090) with two pair, Queens and Twos
slasher44 stands up

Can someone explain this play?  You have 1000 in chips and you first raise it up but don’t get away from the flop when there is an over and an obvious overraise. Could I be telling that I am stealing? But it’s not a steal. I have TPTK on an uncordinated rainbow board.

And I put a scalp on the board and started painting my war face.

26 hands in and I’ve got chips.  Seat 5: InstantTragedy (2,590)
Dealt to InstantTragedy [4h Js]
Dealt to InstantTragedy [Jd Ac]
LittleBlind101 folds
gruenky folds
JeroenRast folds
Markuzzle folds
maeDo7belo calls 60
InstantTragedy raises to 240
henchmen70 folds
maeDo7belo raises to 420
InstantTragedy calls 180
*** FLOP *** [Th 3d As]
InstantTragedy checks
maeDo7belo bets 120
InstantTragedy raises to 1,260 Not really overbet for value but i’ve watched too many 420 raises from him to know that he was trying to protect a high pocket pair.

maeDo7belo calls 880, and is all in
InstantTragedy shows [Jd Ac]
maeDo7belo shows [Kd Ks]
Uncalled bet of 260 returned to InstantTragedy
*** TURN *** [Th 3d As] [4h]
*** RIVER *** [Th 3d As 4h] [8h]
InstantTragedy shows a pair of Aces
maeDo7belo shows a pair of Kings
InstantTragedy wins the pot (2,900) with a pair of Aces
maeDo7belo stands up

And another one bites the dust… 28 hands in.

It has to get better…

and it does.

Seat 1: Markuzzle (1,170)
Seat 5: InstantTragedy (4,010)
Seat 6: henchmen70 (1,405)
Seat 7: LittleBlind101 (1,380)
Seat 8: gruenky (1,660)
Seat 9: JeroenRast (3,875)

Dealt to InstantTragedy [8s 5d]

Dealt to InstantTragedy [Tc 7s]
Dealt to InstantTragedy [Ah 7s]
Dealt to InstantTragedy [Ac 2h]
InstantTragedy folds  Yup I folded A2 under the gun. Deal with it.

Dealt to InstantTragedy [6h 6d]
henchmen70 folds
LittleBlind101 folds
gruenky folds
JeroenRast folds
Markuzzle raises to 240
InstantTragedy calls 160
*** FLOP *** [7s 2d 9c]
Markuzzle has 15 seconds left to act
Markuzzle checks
InstantTragedy checks
*** TURN *** [7s 2d 9c] [6s]
InstantTragedy bets
Markuzzle folds
InstantTragedy wins the pot (480)
Dealt to InstantTragedy [4h 5h]
Dealt to InstantTragedy [4d Ac]
Dealt to InstantTragedy [Ts 2d]
Dealt to InstantTragedy [4h 7h]
Dealt to InstantTragedy [3d 7s]
Dealt to InstantTragedy [9s 2h]
Dealt to InstantTragedy [9s Ah]
InstantTragedy wins the pot (240)

Dealt to InstantTragedy [Ts 5d]
Dealt to InstantTragedy [2s Th]
Dealt to InstantTragedy [6h 9h]
Dealt to InstantTragedy [6h 8h]
Dealt to InstantTragedy [3s 5c]
Dealt to InstantTragedy [Jh 9s]
Dealt to InstantTragedy [5h 4s]
Dealt to InstantTragedy [2s Ad]
Dealt to InstantTragedy [Td Ad]
InstantTragedy wins the pot (250)
Dealt to InstantTragedy [9h 4h]
Dealt to InstantTragedy [Jd Kh]
Markuzzle raises to 1,070, and is all in
InstantTragedy folds
Dealt to InstantTragedy [3c Ah]
Dealt to InstantTragedy [9d 4h]
Dealt to InstantTragedy [4h Kc]
Dealt to InstantTragedy [Js Kd]
Dealt to InstantTragedy [7c 8h]
Dealt to InstantTragedy [3d 3h]
InstantTragedy wins the pot (100)
Dealt to InstantTragedy [As Th]
LittleBlind101 calls 100
Markuzzle raises to 1,020, and is all in
InstantTragedy calls 970
Markuzzle shows [8h Ah]
InstantTragedy shows [As Th]
*** FLOP *** [Kc 3c 7h]
*** TURN *** [Kc 3c 7h] [5s]
*** RIVER *** [Kc 3c 7h 5s] [3d]
Markuzzle shows a pair of Threes
InstantTragedy shows a pair of Threes
InstantTragedy wins the pot (2,240) with a pair of Threes
Dealt to InstantTragedy [Ks Qs]
InstantTragedy wins the pot (300)

Dealt to InstantTragedy [2d 8c]
Dealt to InstantTragedy [Kc 5c]
Dealt to InstantTragedy [3d Qc]
Dealt to InstantTragedy [9h Qs]
InstantTragedy wins the pot (240)
Dealt to InstantTragedy [4s 2d]
Dealt to InstantTragedy [Ts Jc]
Dealt to InstantTragedy [2d Ad]
InstantTragedy wins the pot (840)
Dealt to InstantTragedy [Jh 9d]
InstantTragedy wins the pot (120)
Dealt to InstantTragedy [Jd Jc]
gruenky raises to 1,225, and is all in
InstantTragedy calls 1,165
gruenky shows [Qh 9h]
InstantTragedy shows [Jd Jc]
*** FLOP *** [Th 2c Jh]
*** TURN *** [Th 2c Jh] [5d]
*** RIVER *** [Th 2c Jh 5d] [5h]
gruenky shows a flush, Queen high
InstantTragedy shows a full house, Jacks full of Fives
InstantTragedy wins the pot (2,570) with a full house, Jacks full of Fives

Dealt to InstantTragedy [Kc Kh]
JeroenRast raises to 360
InstantTragedy raises to 860
JeroenRast raises to 3,635, and is all in
InstantTragedy calls 2,775
JeroenRast shows [9s 9d]
InstantTragedy shows [Kc Kh]
*** FLOP *** [5s 8c 8h]
*** TURN *** [5s 8c 8h] [Ks]
*** RIVER *** [5s 8c 8h Ks] [Kd]
JeroenRast shows two pair, Kings and Nines
InstantTragedy shows four of a kind, Kings
InstantTragedy wins the pot (7,450) with four of a kind, Kings
henchmen70: nh

Dealt to InstantTragedy [Ad Ah]
Uncalled bet of 60 returned to InstantTragedy
InstantTragedy wins the pot (120)
Dealt to InstantTragedy [3c Kd]
InstantTragedy wins the pot (240)
Dealt to InstantTragedy [6d Kd]
Dealt to InstantTragedy [Jc 9s]
InstantTragedy wins the pot (120)
Dealt to InstantTragedy [Jd Jh]
InstantTragedy shows [Jd Jh] a pair of Jacks
Dealt to InstantTragedy [Kd 3d]
InstantTragedy wins the pot (360)
Dealt to InstantTragedy [Kh 3c]
Dealt to InstantTragedy [4d Ks]
InstantTragedy wins the pot (480)
Dealt to InstantTragedy [Jc Qd]
InstantTragedy raises to 320
henchmen70 raises to 930, and is all in
LittleBlind101 folds
InstantTragedy calls 610
henchmen70 shows [Th Ac]
InstantTragedy shows [Jc Qd]
*** FLOP *** [Qh 4s Qc]
*** TURN *** [Qh 4s Qc] [Qs]
*** RIVER *** [Qh 4s Qc Qs] [9d]
henchmen70 shows three of a kind, Queens
InstantTragedy shows four of a kind, Queens
InstantTragedy wins the pot (2,020) with four of a kind, Queens
Dealt to InstantTragedy [Tc Ah]
InstantTragedy wins the pot (160)

Dealt to InstantTragedy [Jh Qs]
InstantTragedy wins the pot (320)
Dealt to InstantTragedy [5h 7h]
InstantTragedy wins the pot (160)
Dealt to InstantTragedy [9s Qh]
InstantTragedy calls 80
LittleBlind101 raises to 320, and is all in
InstantTragedy calls 160
LittleBlind101 shows [Td Kc]
InstantTragedy shows [9s Qh]
*** FLOP *** [9h Ts 8d]
*** TURN *** [9h Ts 8d] [5d]
*** RIVER *** [9h Ts 8d 5d] [4d]
LittleBlind101 shows a pair of Tens
InstantTragedy shows a pair of Nines
LittleBlind101 wins the pot (640) with a pair of Tens
InstantTragedy: nh

Dealt to InstantTragedy [3h 8d]
Dealt to InstantTragedy [5h 6c]
InstantTragedy wins the pot (320)
Dealt to InstantTragedy [7d 6s]
InstantTragedy wins the pot (160)

Dealt to InstantTragedy [9c 9h]
InstantTragedy wins the pot (320)

Dealt to InstantTragedy [8c 4h]
Dealt to InstantTragedy [9c 5d]
Dealt to InstantTragedy [5h Kd]
InstantTragedy wins the pot (160)

And the final hand…

Dealt to InstantTragedy [Ad 6c]

InstantTragedy raises to 320
LittleBlind101 raises to 560, and is all in
InstantTragedy calls 240
LittleBlind101 shows [8h Ts]
InstantTragedy shows [Ad 6c]
*** FLOP *** [3h Jc Qs]
*** TURN *** [3h Jc Qs] [5h]
*** RIVER *** [3h Jc Qs 5h] [6h]
LittleBlind101 shows Queen Jack high
InstantTragedy shows a pair of Sixes
InstantTragedy wins the pot (1,120) with a pair of Sixes
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot 1,120 | Rake 0
Board: [3h Jc Qs 5h 6h]
Seat 5: InstantTragedy (small blind) showed [Ad 6c] and won (1,120) with a pair of Sixes
Seat 7: LittleBlind101 (big blind) showed [8h Ts] and lost with Queen Jack high

And that’s how to win a tournament in 99 hands.

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