Even if you are unable to play, $5 of your buy-in goes to the Ronald McDonald House. So, yeah, it’s OK to be dead money. No one will complain

So one last time, here’s the details:
Date: June 16
Time: 9PM CDT (Same time as Mookie)
It will actually be running in place of the Mookie. BDR will be broadcasting it.
Charity: Ronald McDonald House
$5 + $5(Tournament, charity)
Password= vegas1
Tournament#= 164273435

Plays Ace rag like someone Hoy would get pissed off at

Plays King Rag like Wawfuls.

So with that information I went into this hand.   As a reminder I am trying different things at different levels in an effort to make my 1 to 1000 Challenge come true.

Full Tilt Poker $0.01/$0.02 Pot Limit Hold’em – 7 players – View hand 738115

The Official DeucesCracked.com Hand History Converter

BTN: $0.56

SB: $0.73

BB: $0.81

UTG: $0.47

UTG+1: $1.34

MP: $0.21

Hero (CO): $1.04

Pre Flop: ($0.03) Hero is CO with Q K

1 fold, UTG+1 calls $0.02, MP calls $0.02,

Hero says “nh”,

Now I would normally fold or raise here but I’ve been so aggressive in the previous hands that I wanted to see what happened when  didn’t pop it up. Probably a mistake.

Hero calls $0.02, BTN raises to $0.04, 2 folds, UTG+1 calls $0.02, MP calls $0.02,

So .02 to win .19 sounds like good pot odds to me.

Hero calls $0.02

Flop: ($0.19) 2 K 5 (4 players)

UGH, a backdoor flush draw with TP 3rd kicker. I will call any pot sized raise to see where he is at.
UTG+1 bets $0.19, MP folds, Hero calls $0.19, BTN folds

Surprise, Surprise, Surprise he pot raised it.  2-1 odds are crappy But I really believe he has A rag or King 7

Turn: ($0.57) 7 (2 players)

Now I have a flush draw.

UTG+1 bets $0.28,

I’m surprised by the 1/2 pot raise.  He either has lucked into two pair or I’m ahead.  Does he have AK? He would have tried to trap here if he had AK. So I am “ALL YOU CAN EAT BABY!”.

Hero raises to $0.81 all in, UTG+1 calls $0.53

Now the replayer says he called. The better term is SNAP CALL. I look at the hands and go “Well hell”.

But after the RNG has hosed me so many times during the BBT5 it redeems itself here.

River: ($2.19) 7 (2 players – 1 is all in)

OHHHHHH NOOOOOO COUNTERFEITED!

Final Pot: $2.19

UTG+1 shows 5 K (two pair, Kings and Sevens)

Hero shows Q K (two pair, Kings and Sevens)

Hero wins $2.05

(Rake: $0.14)

Overview : I was right on my read that he was playing King Rag, but wrong that he didn’t have two pair by the flop.

Lesson Learned.

$2 closer to $1000.

(Kathy Bates yelling at Phillip Seymour Hoffman) “Why do you stay on the computer all the time? YOU SUCK, I don’t care if you bring home $100,000 a year, I love Nick!”

friends who don’t understand him…

(Kevin Smith  talking to the phone)

“What kinda trouble is the idiot up to now? He’s always telling me that he’s good for a handle of Soco, but he’s too much of a puss to come to Vegas!”

women trying to take advantage to him…

(Lindsey Lohan typing to the computer)

“Oh, I knew I fell in love with you the moment we started talking…”

And the one woman that he is always trying to see naked…

(Tia Carrere looking at the computer playing poker, “The fuck I’m letting you see me naked…)

with appearances by Vin Diesel…

“Shooting craps is easy…”

Keith Olberman…

“Now, if you have 2 hours, let me show you why Ace Rag is the best hand ever except when it is used by others on me”

Angelina Jolie…

“He is so harmless, I trust him because he fixes my blog for free!”

Adam Sandler…

“I tell you , just fade Wawfuls picks and you’ll be minting money. Have I told you about the Slump Buster?”

starring in the feel good movie of the year…

(Every star mentioned before saying the same one word again and again)

“WAWFULS!”

(Phillip Seymour Hoffman looking at a mirror ) “I mean it is cool if you can not afford the restaurant but your never getting laid that way. So stop crying about it. How about you be a man and say “Hey bitch, were going to Jack-n-the-Box, my treat”. Man up fag.”

Phillip Seymour Hoffman is “Waffles”

Rated R for Language, Nudity and Suggestive abuse of animals

Kathy Bates : Wawful’s wife

Kevin Smith : Alcanthang

Lindsey Lohan : Donkette

Tia Carrere : CK

Vin Diesel :  Bayne

Keith Olberman : Hoy

Angelina Jolie : Carmen

Adam Sandler : Miami Don

with cameos by

Pauly : The man Waffles yells at in the NY Subway

Instant Tragedy : Man who Waffles yells at after getting sucked out on the computer

Poker Enthusiast : Waffles Special Ed Teacher.

and Conan O’Brian : Lucko

Yup .000 . When I actually grounded out the last game of the season I was carried off the field because I didn’t give up. I kept trying, I kept swinging even though in hindsight, maybe I should have gotten a pair of glasses before I started to play rather than wait 31 years to do so.

Never giving up isn’t the lesson I’m talking about today though.

Recently I’ve been honored to be part of the group of poker bloggers that I’ve palled around with the last 3 + years. Because of the connections of these said bloggers one of them, the Rev. Alcanthang, has been able to provide 5 Battle of the Blogger Tournaments.

Each time the flood gates would open with those friends , readers, fellow poker players and people to this day I still don’t know.

People would come together, from the North, South, East and West. To play, to laugh and to have fun and take FREE MONEY.

Sometimes people would be questioned by their actions and their play. Loretta8 has written an excellent blog post on it and I encourage you to read it.

In the recent BBT5 I’ve tried to play a different game, more aggressive and it hasn’t done well. I went back to my old game for the last BBT5 Invitational and finished 32nd when my A9o was no match for 8c6c from Change100. I don’t blame Change ONE BIT for knocking me out. Matter of fact I respect her play. Because she was pushing with ATC and had already doubled me up once in the tourney when I started to get low stacked. She was being aggressive and playing position poker. She was trying to make a move to double up to make a move for the final table. Do I have any regrets lately? Nope, because I let Numbblowme catch up with his pocket 9′s to his straight and I deserved to make that crying call to his turned straight. I wished everyone good luck and gg and moved on.

Before I would be ranting and raving. But it has no purpose now. The only purpose ranting and raving does is to give someone who feels ENTITLED their outlet for how bad the other persons play was and how they DESERVED to win.

Look folks, I’m going to say it only once.

You don’t deserve NOTHING. You are ENTITLED to NOTHING. Absolutely nothing.

It’s poker.

I’ve gone in and had people catch their one out on me and then go running around the room (at a live tournament). What can I do, NOTHING, but try and make the best of what the cards I’ve been given.

You can only do so much when your Kings hold up 3 times versus the same opponent and you get to say nothing when they don’t. Why? Because you won the other three times. Shut up and move on.

If you are knocked out of a tourney, nut up and realize that there will be some other tourney in some other place, website or live. And for you to win, you have to be lucky, skilled and fortunate. Lucky to win a race or two, skilled where you realize that you are putting in your money in hands when you are ahead, and fortunate to win when your reads are wrong.

And that’s where this blog post is going to.

Ladies and gentlemen. You are entitled to nothing. You are a fortunate daughters and a fortunate son to play a game and be given bonus money provided by people who have done nothing but fight for you.

When some of you were angry on how the BBT turned out, it was changed for the BBT2 and so forth. Alcanthang has done some amazing things for us and you have the balls the unmitigated testicular fortitude to rip him because you are not in the tourney? Because you feel like you got screwed?

GROW UP!

Every time Al is down with one of these GRINDING exhibitions of greed and insanity he says , “Never Again!”

But somehow when the chips are down he nuts up and finds the suckers , and I mean it in the nicest way, at Full Tilt to provide our group and our readers with FREE CASH, SEATS, RAKE.

AND WE BITCH?

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?

When the BBT is gone, the tournament sizes go down and people who used to play a ton disappear into their own cherry places with the never ending donkeys and fish.

And do we say Thank You?

Some of us are thankful that we got invited, some take it as an entitlement. Something that they DESERVE.

Look, I’ve made some smart moves and some dumb moves in my life, but I will never look a gift horse in the mouth EVER.

I did it once, I looked at the future of a project that I loved and saw the potential. I worked when others fear to tread. And when I left the project it was on an upward pattern to success.

Then the people involved thought that they shouldn’t listen to their CUSTOMERS and in the end the project is dead. It doesn’t exist anymore. The people on it have moved around the world and the project that I knew would be an incredible success now has been surpassed by others who didn’t look clients, sponsors in the mouth and say FUCK YOU to them.

How many e-mails does Al get when the invitational list was started? How many people thought they were ENTITLED to be there, though Al didn’t even make the list of people who were invited. He took the entire BBT 1-5 lists and sent it to Full Tilt for their choosing.

And yet, some of us continued to bitch and complain, whining about how they DESERVE to be in the tourney.

SHUT THE HELL UP. Not everybody gets in.

I sat the bench many a game because I sucked in Little League. But I didn’t tell you the entire story. Our entire team sucked. We had some good players and some bad. But we were on the cusp of making a special run because of one game.

It was the quarterfinals of the playoffs. I can still smell the grass of that day. I was playing left field and we had fought back from a 4-1 deficit to actually tie it up in the bottom of the 8th at 4. I made a good play on a ball and the big stud on our team made a play to bring us tied in the bottom of the 9th. My coach looked at me and rather than pinch hitting for me he looked me in the eye and said “Sean, make this guy walk you on 4 straight pitches, or you can hit a home run. Your choice.”
I strode up to the batter’s box and dug in like everyone else did. I have a photo of me in my uni with my bat on my shoulder they should have nicknamed me the “Statue” because I wasn’t going to swing. But the perfect pitch came and I made an effort.

And I missed.

He threw the next pitch outside and then one way inside when it hit me straight on the batter’s helmet. Yes it rang my bell, but I wobbled my way to first base. My coach looked at me, patted my butt and told me to “put us in position to win son,” and I led off from first. Three pitches later I had caught my breath and after the courtesy look by the pitcher at me I started my run. I ran and ran until through a cloud of dust I was on second. I looked up at the umpire for approval and his outstretched arms told me I had made it. Though the next two batters struck out and flew out and we were down to our last out, I needed the rush again. So I looked to the third base coach and signed the “Let me take third coach”. He shook his head no. Then as our teams big stud stepped to the plate, coach called out to me and gave me the “it’s your call” sign.

I nodded my head and watched two pitches and knew that since it was 0-2 that anything hit was bringing me in, so why not steal now. The pitcher sailed a high fastball and I was gone… my little legs running as fast as I could and when I slid, I slid over the base. But my toes were touching the base. The big stud next lofted a base hit, while I was trying to steal home and we won the game.

Now after the game was over I remembered some parent asking why I was in the game. After all I sucked.

“Just because” was my friend Darren’s response.

Everything else didn’t matter because the power to be, my coach, let me play.

I didn’t have to play. But because I was invited to, I played my ass off and we won.

If you are invited to play, play like your life depends on it, because you never know when you’ll be stuck in the bench watching and waiting to get into the game.

If you weren’t invited to play, I’m sorry. I didn’t make the list for the INVITATIONAL but I encourage you support the people who are playing in it. If you want to play there are plenty of other opportunities with the Poker from the Rail tourney as well as the Wednesday night tourney (Mookie, Douche whatever you want to call it.)

Take this opportunity not to feel like you are entitled to play.

Take this opportunity to play if you want to and direct all complaints to the nearest brick wall.
Don’t complain to me in chat, on the girly chat or direct anything else to Alcanthang, because in the end every year I can hear him say “Never again for these ingrates.” But yet, every year he comes and shows us the money.

So don’t look a gift horse in the mouth and just suck it up.

Don’t like the way someone made a play?

Tough shit.

You’re out of the tourney, just like me and there’s another OPPORTUNITY for you to win another time.

Remember winners are people who sometimes are losers, but losers can never see themselves as a winner.

Don’t be a sore loser, loser or a jerk. Just play cards.

And give your chips to me.

What do you think you are? Entitled?

This year, the World Series of Poker is having a Tournament of Champions. Only 27 players will play and 21 [sic.] of them must be voted in.

Here’s the deal.

You vote for me, Tom Schneider, and ONLY ME, and you will be part of the pool that will split half of what I win. First place pays $500,000. 50% of what I win will be split by people who have voted for me. If I win $500,000, $250,000 will be split by my voters. It’s that simple, and if I get voted in, I will be competing against only 27 players.

The site below is where you vote.

http://www.wsop.com/TOC/TOP50/

They will send you an email with a code in it. That code must be entered when voting.

After you have voted. Send this email to me and the verification email you receive from the WSOP site to tom@bigstackmedia.com and you will be part of the pool. I really would like to play in this tournament and your vote is very important to me. That’s why I’m paying for it.

One more important request. Please email this to any friends or family you have that you think might find it fun to own a piece of someone playing in the WSOP Tournament of Champions.

Please vote and then wish me luck.

Thanks again,

Tom Schneider
2007 WSOP Player of the Year

I’ll be interviewing the DonkeyBomber on the radio and I’ll post the resulting interview here on InstantTragedy.Com for your listening enjoyment.

Either or that I go back to being a NIT.

So I’m going to play the FMookie (FakeMookie) , The Dank, The Douche, TTFKATM (The Tournament formally known as the Mookie) or the Waffles depending on who you ask…

Do I have Aces or the Hammer?

Especially when they catch a rush they try and move up even faster than they should. Hell I’ve even done this once or twice.  But I have a much better idea: figure out how much your bankroll is and use that to decide what stakes you can play.  This logic even works for those of you who like to gamble at the best casino sites too.  To get started, you need to find out what your expected winnings will be.

For convenience sake, let’s use sit and go’s as a measuring stick for expected winnings. Let’s also say that you play $1 SNG’s and expect to cash in 4 out of every 10 SNG’s you play.  Assuming this was the case you’d be doing pretty good, and can pat yourself on the back for cashing in 40% of your SNG’s.

We’re not finished yet though because you also need to factor payouts into the equation.  So for $1 + $0.20 SNG’s, you’d be hauling in around $13-$15 if you cashed in 4 out of every 10 sit and go’s (depending on placing).  Considering that you’d be spending a total of $12 in buy-in fees for the 10 tournaments, you would be beating these limits and might want to consider moving up.

I personally like to play multi-table tournaments so my calculations might not work out so nice and neatly when deciding on a limit.  And bankroll factors in a lot more with MTT’s since you’ll go on more cold streaks.  But after playing in enough tournaments prior to my $1 to $1,000 bankroll challenge, I know that I can afford to play $1 and $2 buy-in tournaments anytime while throwing the occasional $10 tourney into the mix  (provided it’s not taking more than 5% of my bankroll).

The key is to play enough tourneys so that you have a good range to work with – maybe like 100 or so.  Once you know your profitability at a certain limit, you can decide if it’s wise to continue playing at those stakes.

Now once you figure out what you feel comfortable with THEN you can start looking at the hands you play.

And once again Alcanthang and Full Tilt Poker are absolutely AMAZING!

I’ve participated in I think almost all of the BBT series, have been lucky to qualify for the TOC’s and surrounded by very skilled players.

I truly believe that if you can win, in our group of friends and donkeys, you will do well in any event anywhere.

Tonight I was very honored to play in the BBT Invitational.

The Invitational: Sundays at 19:00ET
The last ToC qualifying event is the Sunday evening Invitational, 6 events fielded by many of your favorite poker bloggers, players, and media personalities. Full Tilt has invited a lot of old school poker bloggers to battle the younger generation, the mainstream media, and a few surprise celebrities. It’s a great chance to rail the writers you’ve been reading for years while they play for one of the two ToC entries up for grabs in each tournament.

Just be be involved with this competition was an honor and then I’m in the elite 79 players tonight to start the fun.

Look folks, EVERY starting table was a TV table, at one point I had Lucko, Otis, Smokkee, Poker Shrink , Michelle Lewis at my table.

I spewed some chips and went out in the fifties.  It is still going on now.

Look, I’ll be honest, I was VERY rusty as the work on the book and another project has had me off my game.  But just sitting down to the computer and knowing that I had a chance to win a portion of $2,000 in prizes to the top 15 players were good enough for me.

The other events in the BBT are :

Poker from the Rail Series: Mondays at 22:00ET
On April 19th we are introducing our new Poker From the Rail tournament series and everyone is welcome to join us for this deepstack NLHE event with a buyin of $24+2 (or token) starting at 22:00ET. In addition to first place money from the prizepool, the winner will earn an entry into the BBT Tournament of Champions. The Poker From the Rail tournament will run each Monday from April 19th through May 24th.

The Mookie: Wednesdays at 22:00ET
The Mookie tournament is one of the longest running blogger-hosted events on Full Tilt. It’s been running so long, in fact, that the original blogger-host has retired and the tournament is now being hosted by the folks at Buddy Dank Radio who have been running a fine game. This tournament, also a deepstack NLHE format, runs each Wednesday at 22:00ET with a $10+1 buyin. Every Mookie winner between April 21st and May 26th will also earn an entry into the BBT Tournament of Champions.

The Invitational: Sundays at 19:00ET
The last ToC qualifying event is the Sunday evening Invitational, 6 events fielded by many of your favorite poker bloggers, players, and media personalities. Full Tilt has invited a lot of old school poker bloggers to battle the younger generation, the mainstream media, and a few surprise celebrities. It’s a great chance to rail the writers you’ve been reading for years while they play for one of the two ToC entries up for grabs in each tournament.

And closing it all out with the :

Blogger Battle Royale: Sunday June 6th
After the ToC is one final event: the Blogger Battle Royale, a freeroll thank you to all the participating bloggers. The stakes: a $2,000 WSOP Bracelet Race package and another $2,000 in cash. The Battle Royale is open to any blogger who actively participates in the BBT. Qualifying is simple: put the BBT badge (available at the soon to be created BBT webpage) on your blog and play in a Mookie or Poker from the Rail tournament and you’re in. (Please note: your blog must have been created prior to April 15 to be eligible.)

So what are you waiting for?

Get INTO THE GAME NOW!

Good luck to those who participate, unless I’m at their table, then …

Let’s GET IT ON!

The fever has been broken and was annoying.  The Bronchitis is finally trying to make its departure.

Earlier in the year I played the Blogger Tournament on Poker Stars and came back to playing on the site as I have started my $0 to $1000 bankroll challenge.  I’ve kept to my rules normally as I don’t play more than 5% of my bankroll at a time and I can play any $1 or 2$ tourney that I wish.

I’ve tried to keep on the Double or Nothing tourneys since I think that they are more fish down at these levels than any other.

Now I’m not going to tap the glass but, look folks… you can play the odds of a lottery or you can slowly try and eat the fish to become a shark.

Take this hand.  I could have reverse Hoy’ed him leaving him with one chip but a simple raise was in order, if I’m going to get anyone behind me coming along I want it to be worth my while to fold. HA!

Poker Stars $10.00+$0.40 No Limit Hold’em Tournament – t125/t250 Blinds + t25 – 7 players – View hand 565322

The Official DeucesCracked.com Hand History Converter

SB: t3075 M = 5.59

BB: t530 M = 0.96

Hero (UTG): t1970 M = 3.58

UTG+1: t4375 M = 7.95

MP: t1200 M = 2.18

CO: t2080 M = 3.78

BTN: t1770 M = 3.22

Pre Flop: (t550) Hero is UTG with A K

Hero raises to t500, 5 folds, BB raises to t505 all in, Hero calls t5

Flop: (t1310) T 2 Q (2 players – 1 is all in)

Turn: (t1310) 2 (2 players – 1 is all in)

River: (t1310) K (2 players – 1 is all in)

Final Pot: t1310

BB shows 6 T (two pair, Tens and Deuces)

Hero shows A K (two pair, Kings and Deuces)

Hero wins t1310

Now some would say that I got lucky, but I disagree because the odds show that I was a 61 – 38 favorite.  I was third chip stack where 5 chips wasn’t going to kill me.  Noone came along to force the issues.  If the chip leader came along after my raise, then I think twice…

No I don’t. I have AK after not having anything since this hand…

Poker Stars $10.00+$0.40 No Limit Hold’em Tournament – t75/t150 Blinds + t15 – 9 players – View hand 565353

The Official DeucesCracked.com Hand History Converter

UTG+2: t685 M = 1.90

MP1: t1310 M = 3.64

MP2: t2050 M = 5.69

Hero (CO): t1020 M = 2.83

BTN: t390 M = 1.08

SB: t4180 M = 11.61

BB: t1945 M = 5.40

UTG: t1555 M = 4.32

UTG+1: t1865 M = 5.18

Pre Flop: (t360) Hero is CO with T A

2 folds, UTG+2 raises to t670 all in, 2 folds, Hero calls t670, 3 folds

Flop: (t1700) T K Q (2 players – 1 is all in)

Turn: (t1700) 2 (2 players – 1 is all in)

River: (t1700) 7 (2 players – 1 is all in)

Final Pot: t1700

UTG+2 shows A 8 (high card Ace)

Hero shows T A (a pair of Tens)

Hero wins t1700

Which I went in a 64-26 favorite.

Look, both times it looks like I was lucky against shorties. I disagree.  Why call with the AT anyway?  Because if the shorty doesn’t raise all in I’m going to.  Why not raise all-in afterwards? Because then it gives the big stack in the SB pot odds to call anything.

Look, I understand that there are times that you are going to be putting money in when you know that you are behind…

Poker Stars $10.00+$0.40 No Limit Hold’em Tournament – t25/t50 Blinds + t5 – 10 players – View hand 565371

The Official DeucesCracked.com Hand History Converter

MP3: t1850 M = 14.80

CO: t1290 M = 10.32

BTN: t2105 M = 16.84

Hero (SB): t760 M = 6.08

BB: t2155 M = 17.24

UTG: t1215 M = 9.72

UTG+1: t1685 M = 13.48

UTG+2: t1470 M = 11.76

MP1: t1445 M = 11.56

MP2: t1025 M = 8.20

Pre Flop: (t125) Hero is SB with A 5

8 folds, Hero raises to t230, BB raises to t550, Hero calls t320

Flop: (t1150) 8 9 K (2 players)

Hero bets t205 all in, BB folds

Final Pot: t1150

Hero mucks A 5

Hero wins t1150

But, in the end you have to make gut calls and pushes even though you don’t know 100% if you are ahead or behind.  In the last example 205 is NOTHING to the Big Blind.  But with the scare King and two hearts out there he has no idea if I have the K, Aces or a set.

Which is why playing poker is clearly a game of skill!

I’m not saying that my play is 100% perfect, just that it takes SKILL to play.

And by the way, the challenge bankroll after my OOPSIE (drug induced playing outside the boundries) is up to $37.75

Poker Stars $5.00+$0.40 No Limit Hold’em Tournament – t125/t250 Blinds + t25 – 6 players – View hand 529277

The Official DeucesCracked.com Hand History Converter

UTG: t915 M = 1.74

MP: t1405 M = 2.68

Hero (CO): t4610 M = 8.78

BTN: t2265 M = 4.31

SB: t1880 M = 3.58

BB: t3925 M = 7.48

Chipleader, but my M is under 10.  I want to punish the shorty whenever I can but I don’t ever have cards.

Pre Flop: (t525) Hero is CO with 5 5

Okay, now I have cards.

UTG raises to t890 all in, 1 fold,

Do you doubt or do you call?

Hero calls t890  I call hoping to get other suckers along with the delayed call.

, 3 folds

No such luck. Am I up against a higher PP, or is it a flip?

UTG shows A K (a pair of Aces)

It’s a flip.

Fuel, don’t let me down.

Flop: (t2305) 5 7 8 (2 players – 1 is all in)

BOoooooooooooooooooooooommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Turn: (t2305) A (2 players – 1 is all in)

Game Over Man, Game Over

River: (t2305) 2 (2 players – 1 is all in)

Final Pot: t2305

UTG shows A K (a pair of Aces)

Hero shows 5 5 (three of a kind, Fives)

Hero wins t2305

WIN!

Up to a miserable… $27.75

Slow grind it is…